Diary of a Venting Mom of Young Children During the Pandemic

Dear Coronavirus Pandemic,

1.You are like one of those people who you meet, instantly fall in love with, start to schedule vacations with way too soon, only to realize that you aren’t neat at all and now we’re stuck with all of the weird plans. When I thought the shutdown was only for two weeks, I chose to think positively and use the time to my advantage. 

That was March, folks. Here we are in July and we’re still in this. There is no sourdough starter that can boost my mood on being stuck at home.

2. I’m tired. I clean, organize, pick up the exact same toys, and feed tiny humans constantly. I’ve figured out exactly what my people need, can re-route bad attitudes before they happen, and have created alone time for each of them so we can all survive. Only thing is, my alone time looks like an un-interrupted shower and that has happened TWICE. 

3. But you know, I’m also released. Released from the chaos. Released from the crazy schedule. Released from constantly moving from A to B to C and beyond. Released from feeling like I have to post on social media for work every single day. Released from a feeling of perfection…that my posts must receive a certain amount of likes and engagement to show a business that my audience is listening. There is only so much control I can have and as long as I still put out genuine, real, relevant content, the rest will follow. 

Or it won’t. And there’s not much I can do about that.

4. Masks.

No masks.

Masks again. I don’t love wearing one but if it keeps people I love or people who are loved by those I know safe, I’ll do it.

5. I had big goals to potty-train my youngest with all this time at home. I probably should have but my grocery pickup cart is still packing diapers and wipes like crazy. Whoops.

6. You’ve hurt people and businesses I love. I am so worried about what the next few months will bring to the point that I worry about it in the middle of the night. This whole situation will have ripple effects that we will feel for years to come and will even change the landscape of our city. I don’t want it to, but I also want to have my eyes open to see how to help and how to get us back.

7. You’ve divided us. The pain was always there but now people who were already brave behind their keyboards have now heightened their skills and are destroying those around them. We can all think differently yet still love…but that seems to be forgotten.

8. We were on Stay At Home orders for Mother’s Day then had flexibility to go out on Father’s Day and now we’re back to pretty much staying at home over my birthday. 

The irony is not lost on me…and I’m offended.

9. Jammies are our jam. My kids don’t know what real clothes are for the most part but yet we have made our beds every. single. day. I kid you not. Mom, I hope you’re proud.

10. Let the 1980s summer commence. I now thrive on hearing my kids say they’re “bored”. When else are they ever going to be “bored”?!? Go outside, use your imagination, turn on the sprinklers, solve a problem, or clean your room but don’t look at me. Figure out your own fun and you know what, you’re going to love it once you get through it. The outside time my kids have soaked in has been amazing for all of our souls and I hope to always keep this mindset from here forward.

11. This has been a new time for both bad decisions and bravery. I feel like every time I see someone make a statement (whether written or action-oriented) that I feel is brave, I see someone else make a poor decision that lacks care/consciousness/reality. There are many people who have suffered for a long time and pretending that they don’t matter does not help anything. I wish I could only see the brave moments because those are the difference-makers.

12. You’ve shown me that if I help, more good comes through. Having a social media platform is a strange place to be amidst a pandemic, civil injustice, economic tragedy, a political race, and angry keyboarders. I have helped my monthly businesses by comping what seems like a kagillion posts yet so many more unexpected and unsolicited paid posts have popped through. I’ve always been a giver but damn…the proof is in the pudding during this season and I’m not planning on stopping any time soon.

13. Those Disney Family Singalongs you brought on TV? Those were bomb. And they make me cry each time because it shows that we’re all in this situation together. I hope they stay and become a thing.

14. This one is weird to admit but y’all, I have had a lot to drink (Not in this moment. It’s currently 4pm and I’m sober.) I have made drinks for all kinds of reasons since March: because I was home unexpected, because I was anxious, because I was mad, because I was bored, because it was Thursday at noon, because my coffee needed a boost, because why not?!? 

I don’t necessarily love that and I’m taking it down a notch or five

15. Dude. Covid. If I have to say the words “take a bite” to my children one more time I might implode. I get to be with them for every single meal of every single day and let me just say, the practice has not sped up the process.

16. I don’t know how my yard will look next year but there’s NO WAY it’ll ever look this good again. My bathrooms and nightstands are even organized. My closet is color-coordinated. I have kept up with laundry and actually put it away. Mom, I have either officially grown up or we are doomed for disorganization once this thing fizzles out.

17. I’m a homeschool Mom now. That’s right, so far we have decided to keep Bitty home next semester for virtual learning. Oh, and I might create a small cohort of a school given my past 1st grade teacher history. NEAT. I know exactly what to do yet have no idea exactly how to implement it quite yet.

18. Thanks to you, the idea of putting on regular pants literally hurts me. Intermittent fasting has begun and let me just tell you, I ain’t loving it.

19. You’ve shown me what matters. It’s more than just the automatic family shoe-in. I’ve realized that although I have 485 contacts (yes I checked)  in my phone, there are about 25 that I connect with and have corresponded with amidst this chaos. This isn’t to say I’m cutting everyone out, I have just completely taken advantage of the view I’ve been given. To my 25(ish) folks, thank you. You are absolutely considered my essential.

(Y’all. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading my rambling. Please stay safe, patient, and genuinely kind. The world needs all of those things right now.)

And Covid, screw you,

Michelle

Michelle, aka @fortworthwoman, is a teacher turned counselor turned mommy turned entrepreneur.

Michelle has a passion for connecting, encouraging and informing about the good happening in our city. The good people, events, food, stores, entrepreneurs, and good deeds are her focus. She has created a niche for herself by using social media as a native marketing tool that has created meaningful exposure for local businesses in Fort Worth to a wide but very particular local audience.

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